THE IMPOTENCE OF CRICKET AND OTHER FORMS OF CONTRACEPTION

Recent studies have shown that up 60% of marraiges end in divorce. 87% of these divorces are caused not by a couples difference of taste in regard to what shade of blue socks make for better hand puppets but yes due to erectile dysfunction. Cricket being the number 1 cause of erectile dysfunction (9 out of 10 times to be exact) is to blame for these unreasonably high numbers of divorces. In a nutshell this boring and ever mundane so called sport is taking its toll in the bedroom. Studies have shown that after a 5day test match cricket fans have almost NO BALLs or a very short STUMP. Ironically cricket matches are LONG and HARD unlike its fans who never are. This said ball protectors for cricketers are like weekend free minutes to hump back whales, of no use whatsoever. So u ask about the hot women at cricket games. Simple, its the same reason hot women are always seen in the company of gay men, well cos they harmless! According to South American psychologist and the leading authority on the subject Professor Diego Armandos Maradona this co-relation between cricket and impotency has been proven as early as the 18th century. In Professor Maradona's thesis THE EFFECTS OF CRICKET, COCAINE AND SARI FAT ON SOCIETY it is stated that in the early eighteen hundreds India assigned as much as 80% of there annual budget to promote cricket not as a sport but as a form of birth control to curb population growth. This has dropped population growth by 70% annually except every 4th year when the population actually rises due to the soccer world cup. During this same period in history in some english counties, as a precaution it was mandatory for up and coming priests to watch 30 days of cricket nonstop before they take there vows to abstain from sex. On the flip side recently there has been a case where a patient who had been diagnosed with sex addiction, his doctor prescribed he watch 2 overs of cricket 3 times a day after meals.In more current news detergent company Sta-soft and The South African Cricket Board are in talks about a sponsorship deal for there 'Cricket Makes You Stay Soft' campaign. World renowned author Dr Zanedin Zidane once said 20 20 cricket is like watching clothes dry in fast forward. So STAND up for yourself and instead of going out 4 a royal duck go out and have a royal f....!