Staying at one Job is alot of Work (very punny)

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

Opened up a mortuary, but business was dead.

Did some work in finance, but it was too taxing.

Had an offer to be one of the hobbits in lord of the rings, but I didnt want to cut myself short.

Thought about becoming a hunter as i heard theres alot of bucks in hunting, but a friend told me id be shooting myself in the foot.

Worked for a while as a vet, but i got fired for sleeping with my patients. (Ok ok theres no pun here but too sick to leave out)

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

Then i got a job at a strip club, the perks were great but it was kinda hard.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

I wanted to get a post in government but all they do is sit around scratching their balls all day and honestly, i did take that hunting job and it wasnt my foot i shot myself in.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

Thought about becoming a mathematician, but i figured i would be going in circles.

Finally i got this brilliant idea that ill sell my soul to satan, but at the time suffered from dyslexia and ended up selling it to santa. Now i gotta fkn wrap presents every christmas. On the up side I do get to ride the reindeers alot and sometimes santa even lets me sit on them.